The Goose Gets You Loose

Setting: Dee's house
Ocassion: Denise's Birthday Celebration Part Duex or so
Outcome: Wild and Reckless Abandon

I'm getting too old for this (hangovers). However I'll never be too old for this brand of fun. My homeies are the best. First off, Denise had like 20 parties for her birthday this year. She did turn 30 so i guess it was appropriate to send out her 20's with a bang or multiple bangs as it was. The night began calm and effortless. There was no pressure to go all out and we were in the kitchen as usual having good conversation and genuine laughs. The attendees multiplied and the liquor came out.
First drink consisted of Lemon Smirnoff and Cherry 7Up. I don't know where the idea came from to mix the two but it taste great.
Hahaha,hohoho, hehehe, was all you heard coming from the kitchen. The stories began. OH, do you remember that time we were in Cancun. Yo once when i went to Vagas. Nashville doesn't seem like a place to visit but i had a blast. The stories always give way to remenisent times and then it's TIME FOR A SHOT! We sing Denise Happy Birthday and then it's back to the debauchery.
There's always an old one in the group (that's me) and a young one in the group (that's Lauren). We tell some more stories about how it used to be and how it is now and all along there are interuptions to grab another drink. This time the Goose gets mixed with some cranberry juice. Then a Wii was introduced. Imagine a bunch of 20 and 30 somethings bowling in a living room. A drink in one hand, Wiimote in the other. Everyone telling you, the bowler, not to do it like that and you can't hear them because Alicia Keys latest single is blasting out the speakers and it doesn't help that your singing it at the top of your drunken lungs.
Finally everyone is starting to look a little piqued after a salsa dance off and a mandatory moment of chillin' on the hallway steps to have an enlightening conversation about those who are no longer with us. I get a little misty thinking of my brother but then somebody trips over my body and I totally snap out of it. Of course the fact that half a drink in the big red solo cup is spilled on my shoulder helps.
Time to pack it up and pack it in but not before someone tosses their cookies in the bathroom sink and the birthday girl takes a nap in the tub. Yes, these are the things that normally happen at the gatherings in Dee's house and it doesn't even have to be your birthday! I often feel like we're still kids and the parents are away. It feels so excilerating for some reason. We always help with the clean up and then it's off to our own homes to pass out until the next afternoon. This time though i woke up to me spooning Dee @ 7:30am. I got my stuff and put the slam lock on. Another birthday in the bag...

Are You Looking For Me

Are you looking for me? I'm looking for you. I looked for you yesterday. I look for you everyday. As the train speeds past me I look at the spaces between the cars and faintly, I see you. I see you when I'm leafing through a book about my life and there you are always smiling and warming everything in ur path.
Though I know i won't find you I still anticipate bumping into you. Looking for your face in the crowd. Listening for your voice in this huge vociferous city. It seems like I'll never hear you, but there you are at every corner and in every word it utters.
As I walk through the days that are marked by my steps I contemplate the day your steps won't be too far behind mine. Sooner rather than later you'll catch up. Then I'll not only see the warmth in your smile I'll feel the passion in your lips and realize that your hands miss me as much as my heart misses you.
For now I'm gonna keep on searching. I'm gonna write this moment in time. I'm gonna hold it close and save it. I'm gonna find a way to make it. I'm gonna find that moment when we share that lasting embrace and show my love is eternal.

And I am Telling You

So this wknd has been a humongous eye opener. I Am A Mother. Ok, I know most people know that but i certainly didn't feel like one. I felt more like a father. Let me explain, I hope some Dads don't get offended out there.

Dads don't kiss booboo's or speak "baby talk" to their kids. They don't cut the crust off and they always have the "it's better to be tough than a sissy" mentality. I have always said that I'm not a natural mother. That i have to try too hard to be nurturing and engaging when it comes to my sons creativity. I thought I was like my father, A provider. Not that he didn't love me but my impression of him wasn't nurturing. Not until i got older. So i thought of myself as a provider of things like shoes, clothes, school supplies, gifts on Christmas. I have always seen how hard i work to bring home the bacon just to buy more bacon. But inside i always wanted my son to run to me when i walked in through the door. I used to when i saw my Dad and I thought i was my Dad so why not.

Well I realized this wknd that my son runs to me in his own way. That he prefers to hang on my every word and at he has to have some part of his body touching mine at all times. He's curious as to where I'm going and who I'm talking to. Text msgs and email are read over my shoulder and I can't be out of his site for more than 2min or he's screaming for Mami like he needs air. I don't know why it took me 8yrs to notice this.

I was jealous of his dad for some time. But he can't give him what I can. He may not run to me when i walk in the door but I hear him take flight when he hears me speak. I see his eyes light up when we make dinner together and I tell him how great it taste. At night he hugs me so tight and tells me to stay with him so he can have sweet dreams. And I am telling you I'm not going nowhere.