And I am Telling You
So this wknd has been a humongous eye opener. I Am A Mother. Ok, I know most people know that but i certainly didn't feel like one. I felt more like a father. Let me explain, I hope some Dads don't get offended out there.
Dads don't kiss booboo's or speak "baby talk" to their kids. They don't cut the crust off and they always have the "it's better to be tough than a sissy" mentality. I have always said that I'm not a natural mother. That i have to try too hard to be nurturing and engaging when it comes to my sons creativity. I thought I was like my father, A provider. Not that he didn't love me but my impression of him wasn't nurturing. Not until i got older. So i thought of myself as a provider of things like shoes, clothes, school supplies, gifts on Christmas. I have always seen how hard i work to bring home the bacon just to buy more bacon. But inside i always wanted my son to run to me when i walked in through the door. I used to when i saw my Dad and I thought i was my Dad so why not.
Well I realized this wknd that my son runs to me in his own way. That he prefers to hang on my every word and at he has to have some part of his body touching mine at all times. He's curious as to where I'm going and who I'm talking to. Text msgs and email are read over my shoulder and I can't be out of his site for more than 2min or he's screaming for Mami like he needs air. I don't know why it took me 8yrs to notice this.
I was jealous of his dad for some time. But he can't give him what I can. He may not run to me when i walk in the door but I hear him take flight when he hears me speak. I see his eyes light up when we make dinner together and I tell him how great it taste. At night he hugs me so tight and tells me to stay with him so he can have sweet dreams. And I am telling you I'm not going nowhere.
Dads don't kiss booboo's or speak "baby talk" to their kids. They don't cut the crust off and they always have the "it's better to be tough than a sissy" mentality. I have always said that I'm not a natural mother. That i have to try too hard to be nurturing and engaging when it comes to my sons creativity. I thought I was like my father, A provider. Not that he didn't love me but my impression of him wasn't nurturing. Not until i got older. So i thought of myself as a provider of things like shoes, clothes, school supplies, gifts on Christmas. I have always seen how hard i work to bring home the bacon just to buy more bacon. But inside i always wanted my son to run to me when i walked in through the door. I used to when i saw my Dad and I thought i was my Dad so why not.
Well I realized this wknd that my son runs to me in his own way. That he prefers to hang on my every word and at he has to have some part of his body touching mine at all times. He's curious as to where I'm going and who I'm talking to. Text msgs and email are read over my shoulder and I can't be out of his site for more than 2min or he's screaming for Mami like he needs air. I don't know why it took me 8yrs to notice this.
I was jealous of his dad for some time. But he can't give him what I can. He may not run to me when i walk in the door but I hear him take flight when he hears me speak. I see his eyes light up when we make dinner together and I tell him how great it taste. At night he hugs me so tight and tells me to stay with him so he can have sweet dreams. And I am telling you I'm not going nowhere.
1 Comments:
Wow you are so good with words.Anyone that knows you knows your are a great mom and he's an amazing lil boy. God bless you both
Post a Comment
<< Home