Happiness

I am at the edge of darkness. Teetering with the fear that you wouldn't save me if i slipped and plummeted to my death. I know it's not your job to save me, but i want you to. I want you to call my name and have the sound of your lovely voice bring me back to your smile.
I want your loving arms around me. Keeping me safe from harm. I want your intense stare to reach inside me and free me of all the alien sounds. The ones that tell me I'm no good for you for too long. I'm infected with doubt and you can't help that. I try to be confident and make it shine at you like the morning sun creeping from behind the horizon of the urban landscape but light dims with my attempt.
There's a hunger inside me for a happily ever after with you but i'm teetering at the edge and i don't know if you will save us. Yes, i know it's not your job to save us but i want you to.
On the clear days when i see love seeping out of your pores and lust growing in your pants I grow excited and pull away from the edge. Why does lust makes me feel like i'm worth saving? I am more than just a sexual outlet to be plugged. I know you don't feel like this is all I'm good for but, you do like plugging me and i like it when you plug me. It makes me come alive and pull away from the edge of darkness.
I know it's me that needs to stop teetering at the edge of despair. I play with the notion that it's you that needs to save me. But really it's me. I'm the superwoman that has to jump to my rescue when I'm teetering at the edge of the darkness waiting to plummet to my death. It's me that needs recharge myself and not the mass in your pants. But then, as if by magic I think and hold my head high and I know that there's no way possible you could love a woman that has no regard for her self worth and not only do i realize that but i notice that I'm nowhere close to the darkness, i just have my face buried in ur loving embrace.
Happiness is in my hands and i have the power to keep it there, even if it is for the moment that i see my light in your eyes.